Geyser Notes

... who want to progress to the next level.

In no particular order, here are some words of advice for those new to Yellowstone's geyser activity:

• "When did Grand erupt?" is not an acceptable greeting.
• Carrying around Scott Bryan's Geysers of Yellowstone does not make you an expert.
• Reading Scott Bryan's Geysers of Yellowstone does not make you an expert.
• Finding a mistake in Scott Bryan's Geysers of Yellowstone does not make you an expert. (Although this might change with the next edition...)
• Just because we both like geysers does not automatically make you my friend.
• The socializing benches are over there. Use them.
• Someone else saw that particular activity before you. Someone else saw that feature erupt before you. And it almost certainly has a name.
• Enthusiasm is not a substitute for accuracy.
• Accept the fact that there's a long list of people who'd like special privileges (like housing or access to restricted areas) and that you are on the bottom of the list. The only way to move up is to keep at it for years, and pay your own way in the process.
• If you make a wrong decision, or other obligations get in the way, deal with it. No one wants to hear you whine about how you were at Grand when Beehive erupted. No one forced you to be at Grand.
• If you aren't prepared for the nighttime conditions (and you won't be), know when to give up. Your constant twitching futilely trying to keep warm gets annoying Try a moonlight Grand or Castle first so you know what you are getting into.
• Bright lights won't help you see large areas or generalities, only specifics.
• Turn off the light and let your eyes adapt to the dark.
• Radios — Don't get me started, but this also applies in person: Try shutting up and listening.
• Words mean things, and geyser terms have specific meanings. If you are unable or unwilling to learn to use them properly, then please don't spread your ignorance around.
• Don't bother trying to impress tourons, because you will never see them again. People who are interested in geysers won't need to be sold on seeing Grand.